


Indestructible

by prettylittledarkstar



Series: The Adventures of Dumpster Man and the Indestructible Girl. [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, F/M, Lowkey Crack, but I love it too, lol yeah pfft, lolol pls dont do this in real life unless you're sure, missed connections are hilarious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2019-02-24 08:07:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13209516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prettylittledarkstar/pseuds/prettylittledarkstar
Summary: When Rey goes on her usual online scavenger hunt for things to make her laugh, she finds something much more interesting and...rather odd.





	Indestructible

**Author's Note:**

> A silly oneshot based off of this post https://reyloismyotpandiamtrash.tumblr.com/post/169111409529/prettylittledarkstar-reyloismyotpandiamtrash and I couldn't resist. lol.

Munching on whatever remnants of Reese’s Puffs that rested at the bottom of the box, Rey settled into her couch and clicked through the Missed Connections on Craigslist for her area. From thirsty bootycalls to earnest people wanting to thank someone for helping out and everything in between, this part of the internet never ceased to amuse her. Laying on her back, she hefted her clunky laptop onto her chest, occasionally reaching down for some cereal as she scoped the page for anything particularly interesting or funny.

This task only came rarely, as Rey was normally swamped up to her shoulders in things to do. But tonight was different. She had woken up this morning sore to the touch, with a multitude of bruises spotting her chest and legs and arms in such a way that she almost thought she had been assaulted. But then she had remembered the previous night and snorted. Admittedly, she had been a little frightened when the Ford Ram quite literally rammed into her; but when, by some miracle, she had landed straight back on her feet, it was more than enough to get her adrenaline pumping. She cursed at the driver for a long time yet refused his help or his information; God only knew she couldn’t afford to take this to court. Lawyers and things of that nature were not her forte in the slightest. So she merely headed into the restaurant to meet up with her friends like she had planned to from the get-go.

 **Sexy military man eating Cheetos at laundromat (m4m)** Rey snorted, but it wasn’t enough to get her to click, so she continued scrolling.

 **MILF at Upper East LA Fitness (m4w)** She rolled her eyes at that one.

A multitude of MILFs and a plethora of Sexy Doctors or the like, but nothing quite interesting enough. Until—

**Girl that got hit by car in front of Billy’s last night (m4w)**

The fuck? _She_ got hit by a car in front of Billy’s last night! Hastily she clicked on the link and it pulled up a lengthy message she didn’t feel like reading. But she had to—it was likely the driver of the truck, wanting to lament and repent for his wrongdoings. Not that it mattered.

But to her surprise, she found something far stranger than anything she could’ve imagined.

 

_I was outside smoking. You were crossing the street and got hit by a car. You bounced off the hood and landed on your feet yelling something about being indestructible._

_The other night I almost got trapped in a dumpster because I was going after a pizza that I thought I wanted to take home with me. I’ve also recently slept on my kitchen floor._

_I think we’d be a good fit for each other. Move in with me? Let’s get married?_

 

With a haughty scoff, she hovered her mouse over the X to close the page. Perhaps that was enough of the internet for one day. Maybe it was just one of her friends trolling her, but she never told them anything about the ‘indestructible part.’

Someone was trying to trick her. Or maybe it was actually Jeff (who had been so fervent on her knowing his name), the guy in the Ram who just wanted to try and make amends.

Angrily, she clicked reply and began furiously typing a response.

_Jackass. Trying to put up a front like you were a bystander. I know it’s you, Jeff, and I don’t want your money. For the last time, I’m not pressing charges, but I will if you so desperately want my number. What kind of person asks to marry someone they’ve hit with a car?_

She clicked send, heart pounding in her chest from a blend of all sorts of emotion she couldn’t describe. Anger. Righteousness, maybe. Definitely irritation. Would the guy give it a rest? Normally people would beg not to press charges and unwillingly hand over their information, but this guy was weirdly adamant on fixing things.

It was only thirty minutes of anxious scrolling until Rey heard a ding signaling an incoming email. She checked the sender and the subject line.

 **K-Ren@gmail.com**

**girl that got hit by a car in front of Billy’s last night—Found**

_It’s funny. I knew any of the replies to this post that were anything but hostile couldn’t possibly be you. You’re too indestructible for that ;) I’m not Jeff, just an admirer of your rather defiant nature towards things out of your control. Wanna meet up? -Kylo Ren_

He was straightforward and to the point, which only infuriated her more. Some weird, obviously fake name and a winky face emoji?

_Absolutely not._

Seconds later came a response.

_I promise I’m not a creep. -KR_

She rolled her eyes again.

 _Dumpster diving sure sounds like something a creep would do._ Though she’d never admit that she still did it to find things worth salvaging. People threw away things that were perfectly good and perfectly able to be repurposed. But food? No. And certainly the only type of person to do that would be someone on an immense amount of drugs. She wouldn’t associate herself with that crowd.

_Let me prove it to you. And I promise you won’t have to move in after the first date. Maybe soon though. I need someone to share my kitchen floor with._

This guy was way beyond deranged, but something about his messages gave off a genuine vibe. And she kinda laughed at that last part of his message.

She sighed, biting her thumbnail with increased fervor.

Meeting someone via Craigslist was far from anything she ever saw herself doing. Yet here she was, giving him an address to a well-lit park and texting her friend Finn to get the hell over here.

 

~

 

“I came as fast as I could. What’s wrong? Are you hurt? Do you need to get to the hospital? Dammit, Rey, I told you getting hit by a car and not getting checked out was a mistake! Your cheek is still bruised. God, it’s a miracle you didn’t break anything. I can call Rose over here if you give me one minute—“

“I’m fine!” she exclaimed, swatting away his worrisome hands as he pushed up her chin and inspected her face, worrying away at the purple bruises on her arms. “I’m fine.”

She wanted to smirk as _indestructible_ came to mind.

“Then what’s the problem?”

“There’s not really any _problem_ , necessarily…” she trailed off, avoiding his gaze, as she wrung her hands together, “But I might be meeting up with this guy and I might need you as backup in case things go wrong?” She spat it out in one long stream so as not to stop herself.

“What?”

“Um, yeah—“

“Tell me this isn’t a date...? If you need me as backup for a date, there’s something wrong. Shouldn’t you feel safe around this guy?”

“Well…I _might_ have just met him on Craigslist”—she noticed his disapproving gaze and quickly righted herself—“but it’s not for anything weird! I promise. I’m not selling my organs.”

“I’d be more afraid of him _taking_ your organs to sell.”

“It’s not—Just trust me, okay? It’s a long story.”

“You’d better tell me on the way there. Where are we going?”

 

~

 

“You’re telling me that this random dude posted a missed connection and you _just so happened_ to fit the description?” he asked incredulously, almost tripping over an acorn on the path.

She nodded. He shook his head.

“I don’t believe it.”

“Well, I’m supposed to meet him at the park bench next to the dog statue in less than five minutes. So you better believe it.”

He huffed, running a hand over his face and looking up at the sky before decidedly placing his hands on his hips and accepting defeat.

“Okay, fine! Fine. Let’s go over the plan again.”

“You sit at the bench across the way,” she pointed over to it, “and if I tug on my ear, come get me. Or call the police. Whichever comes first.”

“Dear god.”

“It’s not that big of a deal. I’ve found myself in worse situations.” She truly had.

“Yeah, but you actually put yourself in this one!”

“I’ll be fine.”

In fact, craziness aside, she was a little more than excited to meet this mystery man. And he didn’t seem so different from her. Had she recently slept on her kitchen floor? No, but she has done it before. Dumpster diving. A strange man.

~

Rey squirmed on the bench, fidgeting with the arm bindings she had tugged on in order to hide her bruises so she could avoid anyone who wanted to call the police for suspected domestic abuse. It was 6:35, ten minutes past when they agreed to meet, and Rey was beginning to worry that this Kylo Ren wouldn’t show up.

But then she felt a tap on her shoulder and had to tilt her head all the way up to see quite a handsome face standing diagonal to her. He was tall and dressed in surprisingly nice clothes for someone who described himself as such a train wreck.

“Dumpster man?”


End file.
